I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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