My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
