actually, I'm a sock model
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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