i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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