i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
