how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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