I accidentally had phone sex last night
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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