He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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