wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
