so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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