New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
