Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
