Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
