i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize