I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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