hotel room ftw
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
