1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks