my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My bed is full of blood and feathers
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN