Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.