Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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