she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
