my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
