dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
