So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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