Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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