I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
