all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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