I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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