Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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