She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Randomize
