It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
