the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
