cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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