You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
