it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
