do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
