so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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