And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
