Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize