My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Farmville is her only friend.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
