i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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