apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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