so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
