You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she pinky promised me she was 18
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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