Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
