i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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