Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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