You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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