Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
third nipple confirmed
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Randomize
