Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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