im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
