Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I need a burrito and a hug.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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