No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
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You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
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The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Panties = found
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