we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
