community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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