I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He did a backflip because drugs
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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