I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
