Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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