Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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