How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Randomize
