i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
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Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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