what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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